How did you start coaching?

The man, the myth, the legend, Mr. Community. Hesketh Benoit. I first met him when I was in college in 2008 doing my fitness instructor course. He was a lecturer there and my course required me to do 30 voluntary hours. At that time, he was also working at the Mallinson sports centre doing Saturday mornings basketball. I came in to do my voluntary hours and from there I grew from strength to strength, gained more confidence and enjoyed it. After my hours he said, “Why don't you come on board and be one of the coaches?”. At that time, I was an assistant, he was still head coach. After about six months, he was confident that I was competent enough to take the reins from him and take over the sessions.

I'd never done basketball before that… well, I’d played the game a bit. But football has always been my background. I played in semi-pro. But I think what meant the most when working with the kids was somehow upskilling them or just them participating in a group. I made awards for MVP and got them medals and trophies which were engraved. And every term, I'll do a parent versus student game. So, from that we developed the spirit of a family.

What do you think the importance is of having trophies and medals?

I think it’s something tangible for them… they will always have something to look back at and know that they’ve accomplished something. To look at our past and ask, “what's made us?”. You can be like ‘wow, I used to do this… I’ve got some fundamentals and tools that put me in good stead.’ That doesn't have to be for basketball or sports. It gives you a kind of platform.

Or whether it's being part of something to make you realise that you can't do everything yourself.  Everything we do as human beings is in contact with someone else who pushes you or steers you towards your greatness. Because if I tell you a story about my past, I can name a few people that I might not have contact with now, but I know that they've been part of my trajectory in terms of my progress, and everyone has that kind of relatability. Right?

Yeah, I guess I don’t always pay attention to everyone helping me because everything is moving so fast. You become tunnel visioned.

Nowadays it’s so fast, sometimes you can feel left behind. Time feels faster. There isn't the kind of contact that you used to have with people because everyone's just jumping from one thing to another. Sometimes, that kind of says, like, ‘where do I belong?’ Media is driving the idea that we're not the same and there is a big difference between us all and it’s just becoming very overwhelming.

I'm just using basketball as a tool. That's all it is. Making sure that there is a space of belonging for people and everyone’s equal. We can create opportunity and exposure for people with families who wouldn't probably have the time they need to steer the young ones.

What is one lesson you want to instil into the kids?

Having belief in yourself. What you see shapes you in a way. So, they may feel trapped, they might feel like they shouldn’t be achieving much. Like what we're being told in terms of unemployment and crime. Because of the narrative about Haringey. It may say to them that you're not expected to be a basketball player, or you’re not supposed to be a successful person. These things need to be taken into consideration… the extra obstacles that they face.

But at the same time, when you go through these things, you develop resilience. When you get knocked down, don't just breakdown and think ‘that’s it’. Those obstacles and challenges will shape you greatly. When you get older, it gives you thicker skin and moulds you in terms of character. Yeah, I think that's more important than anything else.

A lot of people come to Turnpike Lane but only one or two might get a scholarship. You're told that you go through education till 18, go to university and then employment, fine. But if it’s a real dream, if it’s what you want to do, sometimes you're gonna have to take a knock back and find another way to get there. Having disappointment in life can go one way or the other. The ones who actually overcome it will probably be more successful than anyone else.

Can you tell me about an obstacle you’ve had to overcome?

During school I had speech and language difficulties. I had a speech impediment, like a stutter. I couldn’t construct my sentences. I remember that feeling of being removed from class… I didn't pass my GCSEs. It was like, ‘where do I belong?’  You feel doomed, you know?

It's in our nature that, when we do something or we spend time on something that doesn't go to plan, we're supposed to work out how to overcome it. In my time, if you failed GCSEs you’re finished. But if I didn't go through those obstacles, in terms of going to college, working in different jobs and meeting different people… It was only at 28 I asked myself, ‘I'm going one way or the other, what am I gonna do?’

I found out very quickly that I like working with people and I love sports. I started from there and I did my instructing course, my personal training course, went to university, then coaching in schools and now I'm in teaching in schools. So, I mean, it goes from one state to another. It illustrates that, cause I've been through that journey, I know how much it took me to get there. We’re supposed to fail… it's okay to make mistakes.

For me, not being the most confident person, having speech language problems, being labelled as this ‘special person’ and feeling that you don't belong in society… until you meet people with sympathy and empathy and that work with you… only then you can take ownership. I accepted it's part of me, it’s who I am. Once I'd done that, then I could start doing things myself and find out where I belonged.

What keeps you motivated?

There are people that depend on you so I’ve got to try and be the best I can be. Because how people see me, and how people might depend on me, is based on what I say and how I do it. If I say I’m gonna be on that court six o'clock every evening, then I've got to be there six every evening. If I'm going to do something, then I'm going to do it and I'm gonna try my best in every situation. Some days, I'm tired, I can't be bothered, but I know there’s people that rely on me, so that keeps me going. Sometimes a kid might not have that kind of reliability and contact in their life, but they rely on other people because they're searching for it.

Just having that time for them, a half an hour…  and it's amazing. When you start spending time on the court, sometimes you don't really talk about basketball, you talk about other stuff. People are always searching for something. Their life might not be in despair, it might even be good, but they’re always searching for something.

Some people come for competition, wanting to be the best today.  There are some people who get inspired by looking at the talent here… really enjoying themselves just watching it… you can tell they really want to do this kind of thing. And then there's many people who just pass by and are like, ‘wow, there's something that’s really special about here and I want to be part of it.’ You could be in one place, but many people are searching for different things. But one thing that's relatable is they want something that they can latch on to, to improve themselves with, or to find something that they can be inspired by. Everyone's on that journey.

What’s that journey been like for you?

I had a very slow growth from my late teens into my late 20s… kind of living in an oblivion. And all I needed was that kind of the platform and opportunity to express myself. Once I knew I could do it, it became like a drug that I wanted more of. I was looking forward to the next step, like, ‘How can I develop them? How can I empower these kids to be better and just enjoy the space?’ From that we were basically uncovering a group who feel like they’re family, you know. They see each other and feel part of something.

So, when I had that exposure and Benoit gave me the ownership and said, “you know, what, you are able and I'm confident for you to take over”… I was like ‘what?’ Honestly, I thought I was just gonna do my hours and go. He saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.

That validation must have been great.

Wicked. I mean, it was it was so good. I was working with his son Matthew who was assistant coach and, like, from 10 to 30 people came to a session from different age groups. It seemed like two hours wasn't enough. The sessions were just so good. And what it focused on was just fundamentals and also having that vibe where the learner can come and just enjoy themselves.

It was really nice because the parents were part of it as well. Having that kind of place where parents will tell you about stuff about their childhood and their life.  You know it's funny, because from the kids that I taught, I became good friends with their parents. We then had a basketball session with the parents every Thursday. Then you get to know about them. Some are lawyers, writers… you get to know about their life as well. You form a friendship.

When you form a community, it can become much more than initially planned.

That's what I really learnt from Benoit from the beginning, community. I know that if I've got something I need help with or something’s wrong, I can call someone and talk about anything. That's what life should be about, forming bonds with different people from different areas, spaces and backgrounds. The Thursday session was for the parents; they work so hard just to put things in place for their children. It was their time, just to feel part of something. Some of them never had that kind of friendship group when they were teenagers. So, it may have felt like they were little kids, just playing basketball and bonding.

In that ‘men time’, you know, talking about life is really important. I don't want to digress too much but if we look at rates of suicides… it's very alarming, the stats. Some of the men, even young children now, because it’s that taboo of ‘men can’t talk’… we have to stand strong. Nonsense. You’re gonna implode, where's your release? So, that was a great time. We'd play basketball and talk about other stuff. Some of the people that were there needed that space just to release tension or just get stuff off their chest. It could be just that 10 minutes but it's an important part of their week where they were able to express themselves without being judged… feel vulnerable, knowing that they're gonna be heard and listened to.

What has been your favourite memory coaching?

Oh god, there’s some moments… I think for me it has to be 2019, Haringey Angels. They were entered into the London Youth Games. They had no coach and six weeks until the Youth Games started.

So, it was announced me and another coach were going to take charge. We were doing sessions and for the first few weeks, nothing… like one or two people. We looked at each other and thought ‘this isn't gonna work’. It was one of those things where we were just gonna call it… this is it. I heard that they had a bad deal with the previous coach and I suppose a lack of familiarity. But I remember the fourth week, everyone started to come. I was happy just to be involved in the competition… the fact that we made it with a team. It was a challenge.

We had a few weeks proper training to be honest and I remember I was worried about the commitment from the kids and the energy and enthusiasm. They kind of lacked that. But game by game they surprised me… they were just winning. It showed how good they were. They had the fundamentals from before.

We got into the knockout stage and we played Harrow.  It was close all the way through.  This is where you earn your buck as coach, making decisions like taking off players. I remember we just held on by two points. We missed a lot of shots; we got a bit nervous. But I remember the whistle, and that we made it to the finals. And you just feel like, ‘wow, I feel like I'm the best coach in the world. How is it possible? I'm thinking that third or fourth week, this is not going to work and yet we’ve reached the finals’.

We didn't win it in the end. I was really upset with myself because I think I was a bit tactically inept at that time. But everyone was just like, ‘No, no, don't do that to yourself. Because where they were and for them to get to the finals. Yeah, you did an amazing job.’
But just to have the experience of exposure… truly, it was a wonderful experience to go through. Wearing the London Youth Games t-shirt and having these girls get the golden ticket to get to the finals. Yeah, that was amazing. For me it wasn’t so much to do with winning. I had the group of players that represented a borough who were striving for the same thing which is powerful. That's when you feel like, this is what it's all about.