Why do you come to the Ponds?

So the main reason I come is that I'm an exercise obsessive. I try to do something every day. In the summer, it's really nice to have a break from running and pool swimming, which I hate. I really like this exercise; it doesn't feel like a chore, it just feels like a pleasure. I try to go three times round the Pond, but I tend to get cold, so I usually wear a wetsuit, but I love it when I don't have to use one.

How is swimming at the Ponds different to the other forms of exercise you do?

The sort of banter, the opportunity to meet someone I know. Often, just ear wigging on the sort of slightly odd conversations. They're a very eccentric bunch. I like to listen to them talk and soak up the atmosphere. I don't tend to take part in the conversations. I just listen. Sometimes, I want to shut them out because they're just wittering on about such nonsense I might just move away. Yeah, just people watching, seeing who's there. In terms of masculinity, it's a very particular type. It's quite old, educated and pretty white; and it's very gentle. You see men in there doing yoga, which is not a thing you would usually get away with in a male environment.

Why did you choose to do this interview?

I'm keen to not turn things down and to reach out more to people. I… you know, in terms of mental health, I feel quite isolated… sometimes, quite lonely. I wish I had more of a broader social circle. I wish I was a bit more outgoing and didn't simply listen to conversations but took part in them, and I tend to like it when I do.



(Sees someone in the distance)



Oh I know that guy from work, he is a fantastically good journalist, he's really shit-hot at finding stories. Yeah, if I saw him at the Pond, I'd say hello to him but perhaps I wouldn't at work, I’d be more intimidated. Yeah, the Ponds are very good as a place where I tend to feel less intimidated by people and I'll be more outgoing. For some reason, more people like just talking to each other. They will just say ‘Oh, that’s a nice wetsuit, where did you get that from?’ or ‘Why are you wearing a wetsuit for fucks sake it’s 19 degrees?’ So I'll tell them and then we'll talk.

Yeah, I feel like I need to apologise for it. I like being asked, ‘Why have you got a wetsuit on?’ so I can say ‘because I'm a wimp!’, not because I’m a triathlete or whatever but because I get very cold. I really like it when I don't have to wear a wetsuit because then I feel like one of the lads.

You spoke about feeling isolated and that you find it difficult to talk to people. I think lots of people, men especially, feel a pressure to be overtly guarded towards strangers, you know, it's a standoffish, less vulnerable position. This reason to talk to people, both with your journalism and for me with these interviews, allows for connection which I think is hard for people to find.

I think the Ponds and the community around it doesn’t force you to be open but it gives you a space to play around with being yourself.  A space to break down those barriers that have been within you for your entire life.

Yeah, and more recently, I've been thinking there's other reasons I come here, other than just ploughing, doing my three laps, and fucking off. When my kids were younger, I felt very time constrained, and that the Ponds were a bit of a luxury and I needed to get back and put the fish fingers on. But now they're older and on a weekend, I don't have much to do.  It's just nice to go, ‘do I really need to be so time aware, and why not just sort of go with the flow?’. There's a mate of mine that I've had really deep conversations with at the Ponds. He's a therapist and we've had very proper conversations about mental health and how we're both doing. He himself is troubled even though he is a therapist. We had these conversations right in front of people as well, that really broke it down.

What is a positive form of masculinity that you feel?

Sometimes, I feel quite low about work but as a parent, I suppose I do feel sort of important and a pillar of the community. Before I was shuffling away, feeling a bit intimidated by people, but I would take my kids to school standing upright and feeling very proud of them and that was somehow more legitimate. I could feel pride in them and not in myself. And yeah, that I suppose that's a good form of masculinity… being a good dad. I feel deeply insecure in the world, but on that, I feel like I have done a good job.